Unproductive feelings stem from your fears, and they contribute to the untrue thought patterns you tell yourself, and that leads to inauthentic living.
You believe these made-up stories and allow them to drive your behaviors and decisions. When you recognize your fears, understand they are not true, then dive head-first into letting them go with empathy, love, and patience, you can start living an authentic life motivated by your own true internal intuitive voice or your own personal guidance. And, according to psychology research, living in authenticity automatically increases ease, contentment, and many other measures of well-being.
To move toward a more authentic way of being and lift yourself up, here are four unproductive feelings that create the false stories that block your access to your true self.
Learn to recognize how your fears motivate these feelings, discover your fears are likely not true, then lovingly let them go.
1. Inadequacy
You are afraid you lack the skills required for success and others will discover your deficiencies and negatively judge you, so you believe you are inadequate. You try and maintain your self-worth by creating behaviors that draw attention away from your perceived inadequacies. You may bully others and yourself, be overly perfectionistic, or suffer from imposter syndrome, believing everyone else is better than you. If you go toward the fears driving your belief in your false stories of inadequacy, you will likely discover they are not true, and you can let them go.
2. Obligation
When your actions come from a sense of guilt or duty and you fear others will perceive your authentic choices as selfish or hurtful then you are acting from obligation. Your ego is tied to the value you perceive is given to you when you overextend yourself. Your desire to avoid upsetting others and your need to remain invaluable are all excuses to ignore your own true guidance. Discover and hold your benevolent boundaries, learn to say yes only to those people who nourish you, and realize your worth is not dependent upon you always doing for others.
3. Scarcity
You grasp at resources such as money, love, power, and recognition because you fear others will take your share. Your false beliefs in scarcity can lead you to enact needy behaviors with lovers and friends, choose career paths motivated only by earning potential, or demonize others you perceive may be threatening your access to whatever you think is scarce. Notice when your needs are met and be grateful. Invite yourself to recognize and rest in the vast abundance you already have and gently loosen your grasp on that which you don’t actually need.
4. Unworthiness
If you believe you have little to no inherent value, then you are afraid of the intense shame you will experience if others discover your worthlessness. You believe you aren’t good enough to have friends, a rewarding job, an intimate partner, or other simple joys of being alive. Accept that you are here on Earth because you matter. Look another human in the eye and return their smile. Slowly embrace yourself as vital to your community. Love your 6-year-old self and reassure them that they, and you, are cherished.
If you are experiencing these four unproductive habits across areas of your life, and we all are to one degree or another, then I urge you to view these feelings as invitations to go toward the fears driving them. Discover those fears are false and the stories you tell yourself in response to those fears are not true.
You can then release those inauthentic patterns and lift yourself up and learn to embrace and live by your own personal and gorgeous guidance groove.
