How many of you have done something wonderful and expected to hear compliments from others, but it didn’t happen? Have you completed assigned tasks at work before deadline and looked for a thank-you from your boss, but didn’t receive it? Or yearned for appreciation from a manager who doesn’t give feedback?
We all really just want to be seen and heard and acknowledged, something that rarely happens in our workday or day-to-day life.
We live in a world that surprises us daily – and not always in a good way. Whenever I watch TV, especially the news, it pains me to see how other parts of the world are suffering, facing war, hatred, pain, sadness and death. Such a reality has had an indirect impact on us; we hunger for kind words and compliments. We hunger, above all, for acknowledgement.
This was one of the the skills we had to learn during our Coactive Coaching training. We were taught to recognize important values and attributes in our clients, including courage, care, love, passion, intelligence and hard work. We were taught that we needed to be precise in what we saw in them.
In the beginning, when we went through the exercises, it was challenging for me to accept compliments from my colleagues. I wasn’t used to it, and I felt uncomfortable when they acknowledged me in public. It was also challenging for me to acknowledge others, especially when I had to work hard to find their gems.
And when I heard acknowledgements, my reaction was similar to my clients: there were tears, smiles, a nod of head and speechlessness.
Why the emotion? I think because, for all of us, the overwhelming feeling was “finally.” Finally, someone said it, someone noticed our strengths, someone appreciated us, appreciated all our efforts, recognized how loyal we are and how much love we give our family.
So, yes I deserve to hear compliments. Having that experience will help me gain confidence so I can give more, move forward and live a healthy life. Others also deserve to be acknowledged, too, and as a coach, I shall be their mirror to notice their gifts, open their eyes, and draw a smile on their faces.
So why not try complimenting the people around you? And notice how much joy you give when you just acknowledge them and all they do.
Featured photo: Unsplash